This is how getting a degree looks like.
That’s how I looked like after presenting my thesis to the board. The final day of my education. The day determining whether I would get a new degree.
There was no posing in fancy dresses in front of roll-ups and smiling cheerfully. None of those celebrations in restaurants with eyes glimmering with pride either. None of those huge and crazy parties, often shown in the movies, too.
In fact, this is a complete exhaustion, hardly leaving room for anything else. That exhaustion was so overwhelming, that I couldn’t even reach my bedroom or wash my hands or eat anything. I fell into this pillow of flowers, my bed of peonies, hoping to disperse in their enchanting smell. To become tiny particles of that smell and float at least for half of eternity. I stayed there because I couldn’t move anywhere myself. I had no power left to do so and I didn’t want to as well.
I started working on my thesis when I was at high school. And this work, this research that lasted many years, was somehow suddenly evaluated and came to an end. Ripping a bandage in one swift motion is the only relatable analogy I could think of. I guess I knew that it was to happen. I wanted it to finally happen. But I never believed it would.
Getting a degree isn’t something one could cheerfully fill their spare time with. It is full of hard work with rare flickers of fun. It is full of passion and doubts, based on questioning. It is fueled by sleepless nights, tons of read books and articles brewing inside one’s head and, if you are lucky, awesome classmates.
It is a life-changing experience, which sometimes leaves a giant void once it’s over.
It is a great adventure.